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26 October - Starting intensive chemotherapy

My blood test results have given the all clear to begin the first of six intensive chemotherapy cycles tomorrow. Just when I'm starting to lose the foul taste in my mouth and able to enjoy food again! I just have to keep telling myself it's for the better.

At least, I hope it is. There has been no improvement in my hand tremor. But the only major effect of that is that electronic constructional work and other activities which require the use of tools and a steady hand is next to impossible. Oh, and I tend to hit the wrong keys on the computer keyboard more often than previously. This I could (reluctantly) put up with.

But the most debilitating symptom is the fuzziness in my head, the feeling I'm not really there, that I'm looking at the world through a window that makes everything look a bit out of focus, that it's unreal, just a bad dream. It's similar to how I was feeling before I was even diagnosed with a brain tumour. Only worse. I have started to worry that despite the treatment I have had so far the tumour is fighting back, that this is as good as it's going to get. Morale is at a low point at the moment.

6 comments:

  1. Hang in there Julian, remember, that your outlook on things are half of the cure.

    Best of luck.

    Bud...VE3OYJ

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  2. Stay the course, Julian. You are an inspiration to us all.

    Ramon Tristani
    KP4GE

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  3. Stick with it Julian - you're the only thing keeping us going right now. My Dad was diagnosed GBM in July too, started radiotherapy and Clomipramine at the same times as you, and you're going through a very similar journey. It helps me a great deal to hear how you're feeling, because sometimes Dad won't tell us, to avoid upsetting us. Thank you, and hang in there, please. x

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  4. Yes keep up a strong fight Julian. The treatment is going to help.

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  5. Hi Julian
    Following your blog with interest as my husband has a similar diagnosis. We've not managed to get Clomipramine yet, so helpful to hear your experience. He's further on with the standard treatment as there was no wait after surgery and is doing well though there are good days and bad. Like you we can feel pretty down at times. Often the worst thing for him and the family is dealing with the emotional stuff though the treatment is no picnic either.
    Marge

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  6. Keep your chin up Julian, I want to see you beat this bugger and your positive attitude will help.

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