16 July - Disheartening news

Went for my tri-monthly review with my consultant doctor today. After waiting more than an hour past our appointment time we were ushered in to see another doctor whom we had not seen before.

I didn't expect to learn anything new about my condition because I had not had any scans or tests since my previous visit. So we ran through the usual: any headaches, any seizures and so on.

I mentioned that I was applying to have my driving licence back and that they should have received a letter from the DVLA. He confirmed from my file that a letter had been received, but informed me that my consultant had not replied to it yet. That was the first bit of bad news. I have been waiting expectantly for the post every day hoping that it would bring news of my application. And based on how I feel, I was
beginning to expect the answer would be favourable.

But then the doctor dropped a bombshell. "Frankly" he said "I would not expect them to grant you your licence back because of the type of tumour you have got." I have got a Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4 (GBM4) which is incurable. Therefore, regardless of how well I feel now, I will never be rid of it and there is always the chance, the expectation even, that it will eventually grow back.

If I started having headaches or seizures then they would put me on steroids again. Any regrowth could be treated with surgery to remove it or chemotherapy to try and control it (though not more radiotherapy as I have already had the full dose.) So it would not be the end of the road as far as treatment is concerned. But no matter how long I survive it seems likely that I will never drive again

Of course, this is only one doctor's opinion. It is up to the DVLA's panel of doctors to decide. But I am trying to be a realist. If one medical specialist feels that way then it is likely that others will too. So I am feeling rather down at the moment. Being able to drive is an essential part of being able to live life as I want to live it. The only salvation would be for Olga to pass her test. No pressure, then.