29 July - Feeling much better

Despite getting a lot less sleep than I normally would during the last couple of days I have felt much better. I have felt positive enough to bring back out of the cupboard the hobby radio stuff I'd put away thinking that I probably wouldn't use it again and might as well sell some of it. I can't say that there is any long term plan or joined-up thinking in anything I am doing but my ability to do stuff is definitely getting back to normal.

Physically I'm feeling fitter, too. When we set off for a walk into town this morning I felt I had enough energy to hike up a small fell. True, I might not have managed it had I the opportunity to try. But I'm certainly managing a brisker walking pace now.

Because of silly superstitions I'm not going to make any optimistic statements that might turn into "famous last words." The trouble with having an engineering background is that I am still predisposed to believe what the experts tell me. I find it strange that I am now unfazed by the knowledge that if I am still here in a year's time I probably won't be for much longer.

But whether my mind has dealt with it or whether I don't really believe it because I don't feel that unwell I can't honestly say. If the migraine-like headache returned I might change my tune, which is why I don't want to tempt fate by making any brave claims about being the guy who against all the odds is going to beat Glioblastoma Multiforme Grade 4. So I'll just carry on taking one day at a time, hoping that with a bit of luck and staying as fit as I can I'll survive for longer than many other people with the same condition.