Still in the land of the living. Nothing much has changed since last week's post. The dizziness and fuzzy vision is if anything a bit worse. I'm less tired, but the other symptoms make me feel less like doing anything. At least I'm taking it easy.
Only 8 more sessions of radiotherapy to go, after which I'll be taking a break from the chemotherapy too. So I'm hoping I'll feel some improvement after that.
Completed a consent form giving the administrators of my pension from a former employment permission to contact my doctors with a view to my receiving the pension early. I'm 58 now and had I still been in that job would have retired at 60 but in the circumstances I suspect I would have been eligible for early retirement on medical grounds. Of course, I'm hoping to beat the bugger into submission enough to see my 60th birthday but the prognosis for this type of brain tumour says this is unlikely so I can't discount the possibility.
11 September - Dizziness and hand tremors
A brief update. Feeling less tired and apathetic than a week ago. However the dizziness and hand tremors are worse. Olga noticed my hands shaking at breakfast this morning and was concerned about it.
I am up to the full 150mg dose of Clomipramine now, so we are hitting the tumour full blast with all the weapons at our disposal. We suspect that the shaking hands may be one of the side effects of the clomipramine, but it may be connected with the other treatments. Given time the body may adapt to it.
The only inconvenience is that I can't use the soldering iron, something I haven't felt like doing in the last couple of weeks anyway. If that's the sacrifice I have to make to gain some extra time in the land of the living then I'll just have to put up with it.
I am up to the full 150mg dose of Clomipramine now, so we are hitting the tumour full blast with all the weapons at our disposal. We suspect that the shaking hands may be one of the side effects of the clomipramine, but it may be connected with the other treatments. Given time the body may adapt to it.
The only inconvenience is that I can't use the soldering iron, something I haven't felt like doing in the last couple of weeks anyway. If that's the sacrifice I have to make to gain some extra time in the land of the living then I'll just have to put up with it.
4 September - Feeling miserable
No posts for a while, the reason being nothing much has changed. I'm still feeling pretty miserable.
Days follow the same pattern: wake, eat, take tablets, go for radiotherapy, eat, doze, eat, take tablets, sleep. Except at the weekend when there is a break from the radiotherapy. If I was feeling a bit of a fraud in mid-August, I don't now. The blurry vision, the slight dizziness, the trembling hands and the jelly legs are all back. Even if I had the will to do so I couldn't accomplish the things I was doing before the treatment started.
The doctors tell me this is normal and just the effects of the treatment. So I guess this is how it is going to be for the next three and a half weeks. After that, the radiotherapy stops and I get a break from the chemo. Then, I hope, I will start to see some improvement.
I think it's going to be a long three and a half weeks.
Days follow the same pattern: wake, eat, take tablets, go for radiotherapy, eat, doze, eat, take tablets, sleep. Except at the weekend when there is a break from the radiotherapy. If I was feeling a bit of a fraud in mid-August, I don't now. The blurry vision, the slight dizziness, the trembling hands and the jelly legs are all back. Even if I had the will to do so I couldn't accomplish the things I was doing before the treatment started.
The doctors tell me this is normal and just the effects of the treatment. So I guess this is how it is going to be for the next three and a half weeks. After that, the radiotherapy stops and I get a break from the chemo. Then, I hope, I will start to see some improvement.
I think it's going to be a long three and a half weeks.
29 August - Tired and lethargic
This weekend has been pretty grim. I feel so tired and lethargic I can't take an interest in anything. Just slumped in a chair dozing most of the time. Forced myself to take a bit of exercise as I know it will do me good, but it is an effort of will, not like a week ago when I felt I could almost climb a mountain. Even my appetite is not what it was, not helped by my mouth feeling like it is coated in some foul-tasting powder.
I guess this is just the effect of all the treatment, so I suppose this is how it is going to be for the next few weeks. Hopefully it gets better after that.
I guess this is just the effect of all the treatment, so I suppose this is how it is going to be for the next few weeks. Hopefully it gets better after that.
27 August - Very drowsy
On advice from the GP, I took another 25mg Clomipramine with my evening meal last night. It takes a while for the body to adapt to the drug, which is why the dosage has to be built up slowly.
I'm glad to say I had no unpleasant experiences this time and Olga says that I slept well. But I am indescribably drowsy this morning.
I'm glad to say I had no unpleasant experiences this time and Olga says that I slept well. But I am indescribably drowsy this morning.
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