6 July - Can't sleep

Another day, another restless night. Inability to sleep is one of the effects of the steroid medication I  am taking to control the brain swelling, apparently. I have started taking a couple of codeine tablets at night - though I'm not in any pain - and they make me drowsy and I get two or three hours sleep if I'm lucky. But once I wake up I can't get back to sleep again. Last night I was kept awake by a Beethoven piano sonata I'd heard a couple of evenings ago playing endlessly in my head.

I had the idea to look and see if other people had written blogs about their brain tumours. I added a few links to the right hand sidebar of blogs I might start to follow up if I'm brave but it was really a bad idea. Many of the people had nasty symptoms and problems with the treatment and just about all the people who started blogs eventually died. Not much of a boost to my hopes that I can be the one to beat the bugger.


  1. The "Moonlight" piano sonata is one of the best for a good night's sleep. Hope it wasn't that one that kept you awake.

  2. "and just about all the people who started blogs eventually died"

    Or eventually, will. What all people have in common, from the richest to the poorest, from the strongest to the weak?

    An expiration date.

    Julian, from the little I have talked to you I never got the impression that you are a pessimist, rather than an activist, and you cannot talk me into thinking otherwise.

    And check this out, even when being in agony you still need to share experiences and teach. And I respect that to the last word.

    Try to leave it behind a bit. Explore your current state and see what you can do to distract your mind. Get your mind tired a bit, get a book tape or something. Eventually sleep will come. Doing less compared to what have been used to leaves an "emptiness" feel to the mind, and then all bad thoughts and thoughts of to-do's left behind come and haunt you.

    Try to get rid of those thoughts, because they are not valid. Because following those mindpaths is exactly what you have to avoid in order to get well.
    Keep your mind busy a bit during dayhours and let nature do the job. Sleep will come.

    Wish you well,

  3. Julian,

    Thinking about you and sending positive energy from the Dutch Isles.
    I believe your time hasn't come yet.
    Just live "stealth and QRP" for a while, and get well!!!


  4. Julian, very sorry to have heard this news - I haven't been following your blogs for a while, so wasn't aware. My thoughts are with you and Olga at this time.
    hope you will feel up to a QSO, possible via UK Elecraft net soon.

    73 de M0XDF

  5. Julian

    I was sorry to read your news. My thoughts are like the many others who have posted with you and Olga at this time.Best wishes to you both and also for a speedy recovery.

    73 Kevin GW0KIG

  6. All my best wishes, Julian
    Pf, ik5pvx

  7. I was very sorry to hear about this, Julian, and hope that your therapy goes well. I'm sure everyone is telling you all sorts of things to "buck you up", but I can't resist mentioning my friend Casey who is entering his 60th year, with a brain tumor that was supposed to kill him in his thirties.

    Vy 73, Pete N4ZR