14 July - A trip to Keswick

Two months ago it was my fifty-eighth birthday. Today it is as if I have aged at least ten years, walking slowly along with the aid of a stick and getting in peoples' way like the many elderly folk around here that the fit, healthy me used to get impatient with for clogging up the pavement.

We went to Keswick for the day on the bus. It was the first time I had been out of Cockermouth since hospital and I wanted to see that I could still go places, even if not the places I would normally have gone on a day like this. The weather during the last couple of weeks has been gorgeous and I would undoubtedly have spent several days out walking on the fells were it not for this damned brain tumour. The thought that I have missed this opportunity, may not even have the opportunity again, depresses me so I try not to think about it.

In Keswick we bought a cool soft hat to hide my embarrassment when we cut my hair off in a couple of days time in preparation for the radiotherapy. It doesn't have to come off but everyone says that it will fall out in clumps where the X-rays go in so I may as well get rid of it from the outset.

Then we walked down to the lake, slowly and in stages, and sat in the sun enjoying the view. We had a salad lunch at the Theatre by the Lake, then walked slowly back to the bus station. We probably only walked a couple of miles in total but my calf muscles felt like they had done a full hike.

So a good day, all things considered. After treatment starts I won't have the energy to even walk round the block, I'm reliably informed, so whilst I can it's important to make the most of it.