26 October - Starting intensive chemotherapy

My blood test results have given the all clear to begin the first of six intensive chemotherapy cycles tomorrow. Just when I'm starting to lose the foul taste in my mouth and able to enjoy food again! I just have to keep telling myself it's for the better.

At least, I hope it is. There has been no improvement in my hand tremor. But the only major effect of that is that electronic constructional work and other activities which require the use of tools and a steady hand is next to impossible. Oh, and I tend to hit the wrong keys on the computer keyboard more often than previously. This I could (reluctantly) put up with.

But the most debilitating symptom is the fuzziness in my head, the feeling I'm not really there, that I'm looking at the world through a window that makes everything look a bit out of focus, that it's unreal, just a bad dream. It's similar to how I was feeling before I was even diagnosed with a brain tumour. Only worse. I have started to worry that despite the treatment I have had so far the tumour is fighting back, that this is as good as it's going to get. Morale is at a low point at the moment.