28 October - A hole in my vision

I have been avoiding use of the computer ever since I returned from my operation. I have become aware of a large blind spot in my left hand side lower peripheral vision.

If I sit with my arms straight down by my sides and then raise my forearms so that they are at right angles in front  of me and flap my hands, I cannot see my left hand moving. I am not sure at the moment if it is only my left eye or my vision in general that are affected. Experiments blocking out one eye have so far been inconclusive.

Using the computer has become very frustrating. A non-touch typist, I rely on being able to look at the keyboard and I am often hitting the key to one side of the one I want. It also makes checking for typos difficult. I have trouble finding the cursor. My brain seems to try to compensate for the problem by superimposing one column of text over another. Reading is awkward for much the same reason.

I am pretty sure that this is at the root of what I have been describing as a balance problem. The problem is the blind spot on my left hand side. I tend to bump into things on my left. I don't see properly where I am putting my left foot. This makes me react as if I am going to step into a void. I am really only comfortable walking if I have something to hold on to. A walking stick helps but I prefer holding on to Olga's arm when moving, to provide a physical point of reference.

I first became aware of the problem a day or two after my operation. I mentioned it to a couple of doctors who came to see me. One commented that perhaps they had nicked the optic nerve. Since then I have had one period of clear vision. I did have similar problems after my first brain tumour removal operation and they did get better after several weeks so perhaps this will clear up by itself.

The doctors have all told me that I have done very well surviving a GBM4 tumour by more than two years. I get the feeling that I should be thankful for what I have got instead of carping about what I haven't. As I am never likely to get my driving licence back with this type of tumour this disability does not have much impediment on what I can do at the moment.