Contributors

25 November - Feeling depressed

I'm feeling a bit low at the moment. It isn't just the obvious - that I have an incurable brain tumour and all the implications of that. I think I've got used to that by now. It isn't just that I realize I'll never be considered well enough to get my drivers' licence back: I think I've got used to that now. But I seem to be getting to a stage like I was at a year ago when I was beset with a number of relatively minor ailments (relative to a brain tumour that is) so that life seems to be a succession of hospital visits and surgery  appointments.

It isn't just the jumbled vision or my poor balance which makes me avoid walking as much as possible, so that my legs are starting to stiffen up through lack of use. It isn't just the sclerosis of the brain that makes me incapable now on concentrating on the kind of technical acrivities with which I used to amuse myself. Though I do feel frustrated about that.
My latest health issue is that I seem to have developed an abscess below one of my lower back teeth. Unfortunately the dental clinic Olga and I are both registered with is 25 miles away and inaccessible to us now that we no longer have the use of a car. At the moment I can't even walk as far as the nearest bus stop! So Olga spent the morning on the phone trying to find a dentist an affordable taxi ride from here.

At least she was successful and I have an appointment tomorrow.

Soon I have another hospital visit for an MRI scan of my abdomen to look at the poosible cyst on my kidney that they found while looking at my gall bladder. I haven't forgotten yet that a "possible cyst" on my brain is what turned out to be a brain tumour. So I do feel a bit anxious about that. A brain tumour on its own I can deal with but these other health issues are wearing my sense of optimism down a bit.